Is your man being quieter than usual? Has your guy seemed to become emotionally withdrawn and won’t let you into his thoughts? Are you wondering how to get past this? Here’s what to do when your man emotionally withdraws.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when he or she needs to be alone. Whether they physically need to be alone to reflect on their life and their own ideas, or whether they emotionally need to be alone in order to just collect themselves after a trying experience, when your man emotionally withdraws it isn’t always easy to know what to do.
Here’s how to handle it when your guy isn’t able, or ready, to say what’s on his mind and in his heart.
Give Him Some Space
Many women make the mistake of trying to keep constant contact with their guy when he becomes emotionally withdrawn, but you’re only going to push him further away like that. In order to best help your man, you need to give him some space and some time to think. Let him try and sort it out on his own. Men have delicate egos, and they don’t always want to feel as if they’re being “fixed”. Give your guy some breathing room.
Test the Waters
If, after a few days, your man still seems to be emotionally withdrawn, test the waters a little bit. Don’t try too hard to get him to talk, but simply ask him if there’s something on his mind. If he’s ready to talk then this gives him the opening he’ll need. If he’s not ready, then allow him some more time.
Try to Get Him Talking Through a Movie
If you know what’s bothering him, you can try to open a conversation by watching a movie that might relate to his issue. Sometimes it’s difficult to talk about our feelings when we have nothing to relate them too, so using a film can often help you and your man open up those communication barriers
Ask Him Gently About the Situation
Coaxing him into talking to you isn’t going to be easy, but you might have to be just a little persistent if it has been a few days and he still isn’t talking about things. Make sure he knows you’re genuinely interested in hearing what he has to say and what he’s feeling.
Give Him a Reason to be Strong for You
Sometimes opening up our own feelings is easier when we have to be strong for someone else. I know that when I’m feeling weak I have a hard time talking about it, but if a friend of mine is feeling the same thing then I can open up easier so that my thoughts and experiences let him or her know they’re not alone. You might have to be the weak one about something in order for him to find his strength even in his own hardship.
Remind Him That You’re Here to Listen
Never let your man forget that you’re here to listen to him. No matter what he’s going through and no matter how long his emotional withdrawal lasts, he needs to know that you’re going to be there for him to listen and support him. Make sure that he doesn’t forget that, no matter how long it takes him to talk about things.
When your man is at his weakest, you have to be positive. No matter what’s going on to make him withdrawal from you, it’s important not to give up on him and not to give up on the situation. Keep a positive aspect on things, keep yourself emotionally open and healthy, and stay positive for him. Chances are that when he comes out of his emotional withdrawal he will need your positive influence in his life.
In order to help your guy out, you have to remember to be yourself. It’s very tempting for women to turn into the nurturing role and to be the mother figure to their guy when he’s going through a tough time. It’s even easier for us to be overly sympathetic or display too much empathy, in turn emasculating his feelings. That will only make him emotionally withdrawal even more. You have to be yourself right now, because you’re going to have to be his rock and his stability when he snaps out of this. You can’t turn into someone he doesn’t recognize or someone who is too sympathetic to really be good guidance for him.
Remember, you have to be strong. You’re going to need a lot of patience in order to ride this out with him as he goes through his emotions, and that takes a lot of inner strength. You might not always be able to show him how strong you are (or, you might have to show him exactly how strong you are depending on the situation), but you have to be able to hold your own while he’s withdrawn. He will eventually snap out of it, but it’s frustrating not knowing how your man is feeling and not being able to help him.
Make the First Effort
Sometimes you have to make the first move. Be the first to try and talk about the situation, be the first to tell him you’re there for him and ready to help. You’re going to have to make the first move so that you can remind him that he is not alone in this. People who become emotionally withdrawn often don’t realize they are not alone. They need someone to remind them it’s okay to be weak and they need someone to remind them that it’s okay to talk. Without making that first move your man might not even realize he’s being emotionally cold at all.
Remember that this is a short phase and it will pass. Just be there to let him know that you’re ready to talk when he is.