You finally attempted the dreaded “talk” where you define exactly what your relationship is.
He started to explain, reason and make you understand. He likes you a lot, but he’s just not ready for a relationship yet.
You nod your head to demonstrate you understand. You are reasonable, you don’t want to push or come across needy. But of course, you can’t deny your ego is a little bruised.
You desperately want to believe him, so that night you go back to your apartment and decide you can wait. You’ll do it because you have a nervous inkling that you’re falling in love with this guy.
Ok, let’s get real. Waiting sucks and that’s not how a wonderful, smart woman like you should be spending your Friday and Saturday nights!
1. Keep Your Options Open
You laid yourself bare and now the ball is in his court. He can either decide overtime he’ll commit to you or he won’t. You can’t (and shouldn’t) wait for weeks, months, even years for him (like a lot of women do).
So let’s decide right here and now that you’re going to keep your options open.
In fact you need to do this because:
- One-sided commitment doesn’t work.
If you’re committed to him and only him (or in other words, sleeping with only him), while he isn’t committed to you, you’re now at a massively disadvantaged position. Not only does he now devalue you, it’s going to be hard for him to value you in the future.
- While you’re wasting time and energy on a man who isn’t committed to you, you’re passing by plenty of equally eligible bachelors who would jump to commit to you.
So keep looking. Don’t continue to dump emotional energy onto a man on the fence.
Your prince charming may just be around the corner.
2. Don’t Treat Him Like Your Boyfriend
Boyfriend privileges should be reserved for boyfriends only. If he isn’t one, he doesn’t get it. That means you don’t cook him dinner, you don’t wash his clothes, you don’t sleep with him whenever he wants it and you’re not available to his emotional needs when he is feeling lonely.
By doing these things, you’re not showing him what a great girlfriend you’d make. You’re training him that he can get these privileges without being your boyfriend, so he won’t, now or ever. Why should he when he can get VIP treatment without the commitment?
3. Wait Before Getting Into A Relationship
Relationships aren’t what it’s all cracked up to be. You have to care about a guy on his good and bad days. You have to take precious time out of your already busy schedule to invest in a relationship that may or may not go anywhere. Who knows, six months down the track, you may find you don’t even like the guy and now you’ve poured 6 months into him that you can never get back.
So, breathe a sigh of relief that he may actually be doing you a favor!
Take it slow because relationships are a lot of work, and often it doesn’t pay off if the guy is a dud!
So with these pointers in mind, don’t get down, get excited.
You’re not tied down yet and you’re still available to other great quality men who are dying to commit.
And what about this guy who won’t? Have fun with him, call him when you need sex and companionship, but in the morning, be glad you don’t have to cook him breakfast, run errands for him or help him pick out gifts for his sister.
Life is easier that way.