Finding yourself in an “on again off again relationship” can be frustrating especially if you’d rather keep things on. This type of thing usually happens when a relationship starts out being casual and non-committal. As time goes on however, it’s common for one to develop stronger feelings than the other.
People who are involved in these on/off relationships have commitment issues because:
Fear of getting hurt
This is the case once the relationship starts to become more serious. They’ll pull away out of fear of what might happen in the relationship only to come back again later.
Lack of anything else going on
Some people believe it’s better to be in a relationship than not. But it’s only once they are in one that they realize it’s not really what they want.
It’s hard to make someone commit when they’re not completely happy in the relationship. However, if the reason lies in their fear of loving and being loved by someone, that’s a different issue altogether.
Others fall into the trap of being too comfortable. When you love someone deeply, you tend to want to comply with anything they want. If your partner is aware of this, the on again off again game could be something they do once they’re bored because they know you’ll always be there waiting for them.
If you want to keep the relationship ON for good and stop with all the nonsense, you MUST put your foot down and tell your partner directly that it’s either one or the other. There will not be another chance.
Sometimes this tactic will scare the partner into a commitment, but only AFTER they realize that you are truly serious about the matter.
Other times, you might risk losing them forever, but I believe it’s probably better for you in the long run anyway. You want someone who will commit and want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
Hope this helps you today.