Do you have your eyes set on some hot divorced guy? Are you wondering if his status is a red flag? Don’t worry, here’s all you need to know on how to date a divorced man!
The word “divorce” still leaves a sour taste in many people’s mouths. Even though statistically speaking, the likelihood for divorce is very high in first marriages the truth is many of us still think it’s a bad thing.
Divorce isn’t a bad or a good thing, it’s just is what it is, not different from any other heartbreaking relationship disaster.
Still, many people, women in particular, wonder what’s wrong with a man if he’s been divorced. Why did a woman (one of our own) leave this guy, what could he possibly have done?
Believe me, I know. I’m one of those questioning women, too. It probably has to do with the fact that I’m divorced and I know what my ex’s were like.
But, I also recently met some very nice guys who are divorced for one reason or another, and they made me rethink my views on the matter.
Before you throw in the towel, I suggest giving it a try and dating that divorced guy. Here’s how to do it!
Take it Slow
Any new relationship needs to be taken slow, but this is particularly true for divorced men. There are two reasons I suggest this. First, divorced men are more likely to be more hesitant about a new relationship and they don’t give their heart out very easily. Second, you want to make sure that you’re not the rebound girl. It happens. It sucks, but it happens. Go slow so that you know how he really feels.
Did I mention his heart was broken? Any woman I’ve ever met who has been divorced has picked herself up and bounced back from it. She moved on. I can’t say the same for every divorced man I’ve met. In fact, most divorced men I meet are cynical about love and cautious about their feelings. Don’t get me wrong, they’re really great guys, it’s just that they don’t rush into anything.
That means you have to have some patience. If he’s not falling in love as quickly as you are, don’t be surprised by it. If he’s hesitant to share his feelings or open up at first, don’t be alarmed. That’s just how it is.
Don’t Dwell on the Past
Another problem I find is that we tend to dwell on the past when it comes to dating a divorced man. As women, we will always wonder about his last relationship, if it scarred him for life, if he’ll ever love us the way he loved her. Don’t dwell on it. His love for you will be different than the love he had for his ex-wife, but then again, the love you have for him will be different than the love you had for your ex-boyfriend, too.
She’s an Ex for a Reason
Don’t forget, she’s an ex for a reason! People don’t just get divorced over a small argument or a minor difference of opinion. If they’re divorced, there’s a damn good reason for it! Before you dwell on the “why” about his past, and before you drive yourself crazy wondering if he’s still in love with his ex-wife, trust me on this…she’s an ex for a reason.
Enjoy His Maturity
One of the best parts about dating a divorced man is that he’s way more mature than those college boy jerks you’re used to dating! Believe me, I know, I’m all about dating some young hunk of college meat!
The thing is, though, at the end of the day…I want a guy who really understands me. I want the kind of guy who is going to have patience when I’m doing the PMS thing and I feel like killing the world. I want a guy who’s seen the battle from the front lines! That’s why I go for the divorced man.
- He understands your moods
- He has patience when you’re feeling insecure
- He won’t run at the first argument
- He’s not going out drinking with his buddies every night
- He has manners
How did he get all of these attributes? His wife taught him. It’s a good thing, enjoy it!
Be Prepared, He Has Children
When we’re talking about how to date a divorced man, the most common issue that comes up is “he has kids”. That really isn’t a big deal, after all, most people have kids nowadays, whether they’re divorced or not.
However, if he does have kids, be prepared for a variety of reactions. They could love you instantly, they could think of you as the wicked step-mother, they could dislike you for taking away their father’s attention, or they may not care one way or another.
The best advice I can give you is to just be prepared for ANYTHING when it comes to children. Don’t worry if it’s crazy at first, though, it will settle down.
Always Expect the Unexpected
Finally, when it comes to learning how to date a divorced man, you have to learn to always expect the unexpected. If there are kids, then your schedule is bound to change on a moment’s notice at any given time. When it comes to his ex, she could be a part of his life because of the kids, too.
Before you think too hard on it, though, remember that dating a divorced man has many, many benefits. He is generally much more gentlemanly than other guys (because years of marriage whipped him into shape), he’s liable to be at home with you on the weekends instead of out at the local bar shooting Jell-O shots of some sorority girl’s belly (unlike the college hunk kind you’re used to dating), and he shares, which means he’ll pay for your dinner and hand over the remote when your favorite TV show comes on. So why wouldn’t you say yes to this guy?