Have you just gotten over a bad break-up? Are you wondering if you should try to get out there and find love again? Are you scared? Here’s how to know if you’re ready to jump back in the saddle and date again.
Everybody has their heart broken at some point in time, but there comes a point when you have to get over it and begin dating again. Heart-ache affects us all and the degrees of pain and devastation vary based on who you are and what you’ve been through.
But at some point you have to get over it.
There will come a time when the pain settles, and instead of crying in bed alone every night, you decide you’d rather try to find love again. After all, love is a natural thing and something all people long for (no matter what the naysayers would have you believe).
The real question isn’t whether or not you’ll ever try dating again, it’s when you’ll date again. How do you know if you’re ready to take that leap? Here are ten ways to tell.
You’ve Stopped Crying
The first sign you’re ready to date again is that you’ve stopped crying over your ex. You might still feel a pang of hurt or regret for the love you lost, but you’re no longer weeping into your ice-cream or beer every night and sitting alone watching old re-runs.
You’ve Stopped Hating your Ex
Don’t get me wrong, there are always one or two ex’s you wish would get sucked off the face of the planet by some freak black hole, but you know you’re ready to date again when you no longer waste an immeasurable amount of energy hating your ex. You might still dislike him, intensely even, but you’re not planning his demise any longer and that’s a good sign you’re getting, or have gotten, over him.
It Doesn’t Hurt Anymore
When it no longer hurts to see your ex’s picture or to see him in the store, when it no longer hurts to think of the good times you had together, and when it no longer hurts to imagine your life without him…then you’re ready to date again.
You Feel Attraction
Most of us are monogamous to the one person we are in love with, and after a break-up the idea of sex just isn’t that appealing. You’ll know for sure that you’re ready to date again when you begin noticing that you’re attracted to people again.
You’re Okay Being Alone
You know when you’re alone after a break-up and you feel as if you’ll never fall in love again, never kiss anyone again, and never be wanted again? Those times are the most heartbreaking and horrendous moments. They eventually go away, though. Your thoughts change from being afraid of being alone forever to being okay with being alone and knowing eventually you will find love again. When this happens, when your thoughts make that shift, then you’ll know you’re ready to date again.
You Feel More Mature
At some point you will suddenly feel a lot more mature about your past relationship. You’ll be grateful for the good times and learn from the bad. You’ll recognize your mistakes as well as his, and you’ll vow not to let those same mistakes happen in the future. When you reach that level or self-recognition, and you feel more mature about your ex’s influence on you, then you know you’re ready to find love again.
Being restless is a big sign you’re ready to date again. Tired of sitting in the house and ignoring the world? Tired of living everyday just going to work and coming home? Tired of watching everyone else you know have all the fun? You’re restlessness indicates you’re over your ex.
You No Longer Hate the Opposite Sex
One of the things that hinders most people after a break-up is that they genuinely want nothing to do with the opposite sex. This is especially true for men. I can’t tell you how many men I know who were heartbroken once and decided never to love again. It’s tragic really. They go on using the opposite sex and hating the idea of love, even hating the opposite sex most of the time for breaking their hearts. When you no longer see the opposite sex as “the enemy” then you’ll know you’re ready to get back out into the dating world.
You Have Outside Interests
Once you’ve made up your mind to stop obsessing over your ex, then you’ll be ready to date again. Instead of stalking him on Facebook, driving past his house late at night, watching him through the window at work, or any other acts of crazy that we do when we’re desperate, you’ll eventually find that you want to do something fun for yourself. You’ll take up a new hobby or sport, or you’ll take a class or get a new job. At some point in time you will have outside interests and that’s when you’ll be ready to date again.
You Feel Confident
Probably one of the most important ways of knowing you’re ready to date again is that you feel confident in yourself again. You know that you’re a good catch, you know that you’re intelligent and beautiful, and you know that somewhere out there is a man who wants to love you. You’ll find that when you have the confidence in yourself, you’ll know that you’re ready to go out there and find that guy.
Remember, dating sucks. It really does, I won’t sugar coat that for you. However, if you don’t give it a try you’ll never find the love of your life. There will be bad dates, and there will be terrible dates, but there will also be really good dates that make the whole thing worthwhile. Forget about your ex. Aren’t you ready to find real love?