Are you jumping back into the dating scene? Are you having a hard time getting a second date? Maybe you’re just not sure what to do? Here are ten tips on making a good first impression on a first date.
Dating is difficult, and the older we get the more we tend to judge our dates. For instance, I’m much pickier about how a man acts than I would have been five or ten years ago. While this might sound like an anomaly, it is, in fact, quite common to be pickier with time. We learn to know what we like and what we don’t like in a partner and how someone acts on a first date is key to whether or not we give them a second chance.
I’m not saying you have to be prefect on a first date, not at all. All I’m saying is that there are some deal breakers you really want to avoid.
If you want to be sure to make a good first impression, then these ten tips will help. It’s not just for guys, either, women need to know how to act on a date in order to keep a guy’s attention, so listen well ladies and gents.
1. Dress Nice and Appropriately
Look clean. If you haven’t showered, smell like sweat, and are still wearing yesterday’s clothes then you’re not going to get another date I guarantee it. Of course, you also don’t need to wear a tux or evening dress to a casual Italian restaurant. Use your brain and dress cleanly, modestly (don’t show off all your goods just yet), and make sure you smell good.
2. Use Your Manners
Don’t be that person who chews with their mouth open, belches at the table, or doesn’t tip the waitress. Use your manners! If you’re a guy, open the door for your date, if you’re a woman, make sure to thank your date for opening the door and buying you dinner. Manners show good breeding (your mom was right all along).
3. Ask Open Ended Questions
One of the reasons I detest online dating is because I tend to judge men way too harshly on their conversation skills and grammar. I hate bad grammar, it’s the quickest way to turn me off. Next to that, I hate when I’m trying to hold a conversation with someone and they don’t converse back. Ask each other open ended questions, don’t just answer your date’s questions without replying and asking them one in return.
4. Be Interested in the Other Person
To be a good date you have to actually be interested in what the other person has to say. I once spent an hour and a half listening to someone talk about their fish collection. Was I miserable? Absolutely. Did I engage in the conversation and make him feel comfortable? Of course I did, that’s what a good date does. I didn’t see him again because I found the entire date too tedious (he didn’t ask about me…it was all about him), but I was still a good date. That’s what you’re aiming for.
5. Don’t Drink Too Much
You should not, under any circumstances, get sloshing drunk on a first date. You can have a glass of wine with dinner or a casual beer at the pub, but stop at one. One is your limit.
6. Don’t Overeat
On the other hand, you shouldn’t overeat on your date either. I did this once, and the guy looked at me in horror. I’m a nervous eater and it was a blind date. Also, I was bored out of my mind and eating to stay awake. Listen, while I’m on the subject, don’t be a boring date. You don’t have to be the life of the party but you do have to show your date that you’re alive. Eat, of course, but don’t overindulge.
7. Watch Your Language
I’m notorious for being a road rage driver. I will say words that could make a sailor blush when I’m in the car. However, on a date, you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Later in the relationship when you’ve become more comfortable with each other, it’s okay to let out your dark side, but for now keep the language G-Rated.
8. Be Optimistic
I have a hard time dealing with sadness, and I don’t want to deal with a date who thinks life sucks. Of course it sucks sometimes, that’s life. This weekend alone I found out I have to get new axles on my car, my washing machine broke in the middle of the soak cycle, and I have some unknown ailment. Guess what I’m doing Monday? You got it, fixing the car, waiting on the washing machine repair guy, and going to the doctor. I’m miserable right now because I can’t drive and I can’t wash my clothes (plus this whatever is wrong with me thing), but would I ever tell my date all this? Not exactly.
I would say “Can you believe what happened to me this weekend?” but I would not say “I wanted to curl up into fetal position and cry like a little girl.” I would portray an optimistic soul to my date.
Also, don’t go giving all of your life grievances on a first date. I’m chatting with a guy now who has told me more of his life story than I am comfortable knowing. We haven’t even had a first date yet!
Please, leave some mystery and lose the misery.
9. Don’t Get Handsy
Do not assume your date wants you to grope and manhandle them…this goes for you too, ladies.
10. Walk Beside Your Date
One of my biggest pet peeves is when a date walks in front of me. It’s rude and inconsiderate. Walk beside me so I know we’re on an equal level. Walk beside me so that I know you’re interested in what I have to say. Do not ever walk in front of me because you will not get another date. It’s that simple. This goes back to that “use your manners” speech above.
Now that you know how to make a good first impression, tell us, what is your biggest pet peeve?