Coping with breakups? Been there, done that, and still it surprises me how some people deal with it. You’d think a couple of sad songs, sad movies, a box full of your favorite chocolate, would be enough to get you through the week (or in some cases, the night!). Apparently not, because I do have friends who have been through this crap and have more experience when it comes to broken hearts. And so like any writer and researcher, I asked around.
And it doesn’t stop there. There are different, and unusual ways when it comes to coping with breakups. Aside from my friends’ stories, they were generous enough to tell me about their friend’s story, or cousins, or relatives twice removed. It seems that breakups is still a “trend” and it’s not going away any time soon.
What does this tell us? That people never learn? That they enjoy having their hearts broken? That they need help because this is totally twisted and HOW CAN ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS FOR HEAVEN”S SAKE?
Okay, first off, who are we to judge. Admit, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had our share of pity parties and calorie fests and thinking that alcohol is our best friend during this tragic time. But other people do have their ways of dealing with such – tragic – events. And here’s what I’ve learned so far:
1. Date other people
One of the fastest ways to get over an ex is to date other people. Preferably many other people. Just make sure you make it clear that you’re not into anything serious just yet. Unless, you do happen to find that “dream girl” or “dream guy” who does such a great job of distracting you from your break up pains, that you fall head over heels in love again.
2. Shop ‘till you drop
Shopping is the cardio of most women. During a breakup, most women (myself included), wouldn’t mind hitting the stores in the hopes of forgetting our sorrows. Who doesn’t feel better after finding the perfect pair of shoes or finding a bargain and getting this and that! Yes, we shouldn’t rely on material things for our happiness. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
3. The Jetsetter
If you don’t want to mope around all day then get out and go somewhere. I know a friend of mine who went to Singapore with her sister because she got fed up staying at home and thinking about her ex. Good for her and good for me because she bought lots of chocolates and was generous enough to share!
4. Yoga/fitness/meditation therapy
Or whatever you call it. For some women, yoga can relieve stress. I personally think it’s dangerous and would rather stick to the treadmill. But for some women, yoga helps them find their inner self once more.
5. Explore your sexuality
Now that you’re out of a serious monogamous relationship, why not have some fun with casual dating/sex buddies/fwbs? Just make sure to be safe and always use protection. Other than that, it’s a good time to explore your options and not be so uptight when it comes to your sexuality.
6. Games and puzzles
Okay, one of my friend’s friend has this habit of putting together jigsaw puzzles when she’s coping with a breakup. Sounds weird and when I asked her why her friend does it, she simply “it keeps her occupied.” Makes sense, I guess. Jigsaw puzzles take hours and it’s a challenge, especially if you give yourself a deadline like “this has to be finished no later than 3pm Friday.”
7. Go gaga over some hot celebrity
Just because I’m in my thirties doesn’t mean that I’m too old for celebrity crushes. I remember during my breakup days, I would imagine that my boyfriend were either Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman, Jensen Ackles or Jared Padalecki (yes, I’m a Supernatural fan). And I’m their one and only and my ex dropped dead (literally) because I’m with these celebrity hotties.
8. Murder she wrote
A friend of mine is a bit – morbid – when it came with dealing with breakups. The sad part is that I’m also guilty of it. It’s when I hurt the most and can’t help imagining how to “get rid” of my ex. My friend’s idea of getting of her ex is using head clippers – the dull ones. As for me, I imagined being a witch and cursing him and giving him a vagina, get him raped, crash his car, and then I’ll get nasty. Morbid yes, but it’s just a fantasy.
9. Clean up on aisle 7!
When we break up, there are still trinkets that our ex leaves behind. My friend says that when he breaks up with a girl, it’s time to clean house. Goodbye birthday present, goodbye first anniversary present, goodbye pink lacey underwear that for some reason got under the bed. Hey, if you want to forget your ex then it makes sense to clear the house of memories.
I’m not talking about running for miles to stay in shape. I’m talking about playing your favorite movies or TV shows and forget about your heartaches. For me, it’s either Supernatural or The Mentalist. Sometimes, I put on Fast and the Furious. What I DON’T watch are sappy romantic movies because 1) I hate those movies and 2) I’m trying to forget I’m mourning!
11. Sex and the City
One of my favorite shows and one of my best friends share my interest when it comes to this show. You kind of see a whole new perspective when it comes to dating. When my friend was getting over her ex, this was the show she watched. I guess something about watching trendy women live their life, have sex, get dumped, dump men, eat at the best restaurants, meet more men, have sex again and breakup can lift her spirits.
12. Dear Karma, thank you for being a bitch to my ex!
Gina, one of my closest friends, got dumped and she said that when her ex broke up with her, she would say “don’t worry, Karma’s a bitch!” That’s her way of dealing. She doesn’t plot revenge, she doesn’t get in his face, she just waits for Karma to strike. And one day, she did. When she saw her ex again, he’s got beer gut and he looks older. My friend, on the other hand, lost weight and she looked better than ever. And so she says “thank you Karma, for being a bitch to my ex!”
My friend Keith said that while women drink martinis and talk about their feelings, some men handle things differently. He said he would go to “hibernation.” As in, swear off dating for a while. It sounds depressing, but he says it paves the way to a better single life. Again, it makes sense. Ever heard the phrase “sleep it off?” I guess he “sleeps it off” until he feels better.
14. Impromptu fight
Women may cry and seek the support of her friends. But one of my friends said that when he was coping with a bad breakup, sometimes he just needs something, or someone, to hit. And since he likes basketball, he would play the game, pick a fight, throw some punches, etc. Then, when it’s all over, he would sit at home, alone, and drink his beer. Hey, you gotta let out some steam, right?
15. Listening to music that practically says “you go girl!”
Unlike some women, I don’t listen to sentimental music when I’m coping with a breakup. The last thing I want is more tears. No, I would listen to music that says “he’s a loser, you don’t need him, you go girl!” I mean, hello? Why on earth would I listen to songs that would only remind me of how miserable I am?
16. “You have much to learn, young Jedi”
One of my friends said that his way of coping with a breakup is actually listening to his older cousins’ Tales of Tragedy. How they met women, broke up with women, dumped women, stood women up, got dumped by women, so much to learn! I guess being older and having more experience does make you wiser. Nothing wrong with listening to your friends but sometimes, it’s nice to hear how your “elders” messed up and how they dealt with it. It inspired him to forget what’s-her-face.
17. Skydiving, bungee jumping, watersports, oh my!
My friend Andrew says that when his cousin got dumped by his girl, he was suddenly into extreme sports. He would try wakeboarding, skydiving, even bungee jumping. He’s not sure, but he’s hoping that his cousin isn’t really suicidal. While some men like impromptu fights to let off steam, he likes the adrenaline rush.
18. Slumber party!
You’re never too old for a slumber party! When one of my high school friends broke up with her man, she invited us to spend the weekend at a hotel. She had a huge discount. Magic words! And so we spend the night with a couple of beers, chips, chocolates, and talked about men and how they’re scum, etc. Mind you, we did not paint each other’s toenails.
19. The “I’m pregnant with your baby” blackmail
Now, some women have trouble letting go. While I was scanning the Internet, I came across this site where this woman got dumped and because she can’t let her ex go, she scared the heck out of him saying that she’s carrying his baby. Okay, I know that this article is about the “best ways to cope with a breakup,” but I couldn’t resist throwing a bad seed here. This is one coping method that you shouldn’t do. If you think “f— ‘till you drop” is gross, at least you’re being honest with yourself and your body’s – needs. But this is just low.
I have a co-worker before who broke up with her boyfriend. They weren’t living together, but their apartments were close. That means that seeing each other can be inevitable. Now, that’s not healthy especially when she sees him flirting with these sluts – er – other women. So what’s the plan? She moved! Now she doesn’t have to see his sorry ass again. Simple method yet effective!
So there you have it. If you’re worried that your ways of coping with breakups are weird, don’t think much of it. We all have our quirks in life. If your way of dealing with this breakup helps you recover, then who’s to tell you you’re doing it wrong? Just as long as it doesn’t involve anyone literally dying, I guess you’re homefree!