Are you just getting out of a relationship? Do you miss your ex and are aching to call or text him every moment of the day? Are you wondering if you should contact him? Don’t! Here are ten reasons why you must give your ex space after a break-up.
Breaking up is hard to do. There’s always a point in the break-up right after it’s over when you wonder to yourself if you made the right decision. There’s always a time when you regret the end and want him back. In fact, you drive yourself crazy thinking about him constantly, wondering if he’s thinking about you.
So what do you do? Do you call him? Do you ask him on a date? Do you try to get him to realize you’re the best thing that will ever happen to him by stalking him constantly for weeks on end?
You don’t do any of those things.
What you do is give your ex some space.
I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, “But if I give him space won’t he move on?”
That’s an excellent question, and of course a real possibility, but you have an even higher chance of losing him forever if you don’t give him space. Here’s why.
1. He Needs to Think
You and your ex both need a breather right now, and you have to give him some space to think. He needs to think about the good times and the bad times, he needs to think about his life before you and with you, and he needs to think about his life without you. Give him time to think.
2. He Needs Time to Miss You
My little brother always says, “I can’t miss you if you won’t leave.” It’s catchy, and it’s true. If he doesn’t have the chance to sleep alone, to wake up without your laugh, to look at his phone and miss your texts, then he won’t really have the chance to miss you, and you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone, right?
3. He Needs to Date Other People
There are some crazy ass people in the world. Let him figure that out. Let your ex go and date some psycho with constant drama so that he can appreciate his calm and easy relationship with you. Letting him date other people will more often than not work in your favor.
4. You Need to Breathe
Just like he needs to breathe, you do too. You need to let your emotions calm down and to enjoy the time you have for yourself. Cry, be sad, and then pick yourself up and just enjoy some much needed “you” time.
5. You Need Time to Analyze the Relationship
While you’re taking the time to breathe and be yourself, make sure you also spend some time really analyzing your relationship with your ex. I know it hurts, I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to be away from the person you love, but no relationship is happy all the time. Every couple has their problems, and I bet right now you’ve forgotten all of those relationship problems, or you’re thinking they really weren’t that important. Perhaps some of them weren’t, but make sure you’re really analyzing things, after all, nobody breaks up for no reason.
6. Clinging Causes Running
You also need to give your ex the space he needs because if you keep trying to cling to him and keep constant contact with him (or even worse, try to keep tabs on him) then you’re going to lose him. Nothing makes an ex run away faster than a woman who won’t leave him alone (and a woman who refuses to believe you’re no longer together). Don’t cling to your ex, you’ll only push him away. Besides, a restraining order really won’t help your relationship.
7. Emotions are Too High
Right now your emotions are still too high for either of you to make a clear and rational decision, so don’t bother trying to get back together. Honestly, you’ll just end up with a night of hot sex and a morning of regrets. Stay away from your ex until you’re both rational again.
8. Make Him Wonder About You
You also shouldn’t cling to your ex because it really takes out the mystery. Men love mystery. He wants to wonder how you are. He wants to wonder if you’re thinking about him. He wants to wonder if you’re with somebody new. Let him wonder!
9. Show Him You Can Live Without Him
One of the best things you can do for yourself and your ex is to show him that you really are quite capable of living without him. Most people get back together after a break-up because they are afraid of being alone, or because they aren’t comfortable enough with themselves to be single. If you show him that you can live without him, not only will you be happier, but you’ll also make him want you even more. We always want what we can’t have.
10. People Need Time to Heal
Finally, give your ex space after a break-up because you both need time to heal. Break-ups hurt, they hurt really badly. You probably said some things you didn’t really mean, he probably said things he didn’t really mean…you’re both having to deal with a lot of drama and emotional trauma right now. Do yourself a favor and give your ex some space so that you can both heal. That way, when the time comes and if you get back together, there aren’t any confusing emotions or lingering doubt.
If you give your ex some space after a break-up, and you allow yourself time to analyze things and heal, then you might find it easier to get back together, and you might find that your relationship is even stronger for having gone through it and bounced back.