10 Reasons Why Being a Clingy Ex Won’t Help You Win Him Back


Do you miss your ex? Are you having a hard time moving on from your last relationship? If you are, I’m here to tell you why it’s not healthy to cling to the idea of your ex, and what you need to do about it!

We’ve all been there. You know, had that “one who got away” ex or the relationship we just couldn’t move on from? Maybe your ex is the person you thought you really would spend the rest of your life with? Regardless of who your ex is, or what they mean to you, it’s still not healthy to cling to your ex.
There are many reasons why clinging is a bad thing. For example, by clinging to your ex you’re taking yourself out of “ex” mode and straight into “stalker” mode. Nobody wants that.
It’s much more than that, though. Here are ten reasons why you shouldn’t just cling to the idea of wanting your ex back.

1. He’s Moved On

The first reason you shouldn’t cling to the idea of your ex is that your ex has probably moved on. That’s right, they have a new life that doesn’t involve you. It sucks, and it hurts, but it happens. What you should do is go and get a life of your own, with someone new.

2. You’re Living in the Past

You also need to stop clinging to your ex because, let’s be honest, you’re still living in the past. You’re still stuck on this idea that your ex was perfect and that you can’t move beyond that “perfect” relationship.

Trust me, you can and you will move on. You’re not the only person in the world who has had their heart broken.

3. You’re Dwelling in Your Sorrow

I get it. You’re in pain. You’re eating ice-cream, staying inside, and crying all weekend. Life without your ex is unbearable.

It’s time to get over it.

At this point, you’re drowning in your sorrow, and the only person you’re drowning here is yourself.

Don’t cling to the idea of your ex because you’re still hurting from the break-up, get over the break-up and move on with your life. I’m not saying it’ll be easy…but it is better than this!

4. You’re Preventing Real Love From Happening

I know so many people who are still so obsessed over an ex relationship that they don’t allow themselves to open up to someone new, no matter how amazing that new person is. In fact, they usually dump that amazing person so they themselves don’t get hurt. All that does is hurt the person who got dumped. Don’t be that person. Don’t be the dumper. You’re missing out on good relationships because you can’t get over the bad, and that’s a real waste.

5. He’s Really Not Worth It

Did I mention your ex isn’t worth all this? I know you think your ex is worth this kind of drama, but really they’re not. Your best bet is to stop clinging to the idea of your ex and move forward so that you can heal and you can find the right kind of relationship.

6. The Right Man is Still Waiting

Speaking of the right kind of relationship, did you know that there’s a very, very good chance the love of your life is out there waiting for you? That’s right, your right person is waiting to be loved by you, but you’re too busy clinging to the idea of an ex that’s still an ex to give your heart to someone who truly deserves it. That’s just sad.

7. You’re Not Learning Your Lesson

By clinging to your ex it’s clear that you haven’t learned your relationship lesson. You see, every relationship is a lesson, and you’re ex is just another one. What that lesson is varies from person to person, but if you’re still dwelling on your ex then you clearly haven’t learned whatever it is you needed to learn. Think about this for a while. What did you learn from that relationship? Once you’ve figured it out, you can move on.

8. The Past is Never How You Remember It

I bet you’re thinking your ex was the best, right? Are you thinking that you’ll never find anyone as great as your ex? Are you thinking that you’ll never find anyone as kind or loving as your ex, or as intelligent and daring as your ex? Are you dwelling on that “perfect” relationship?

The past is never as it really seems.

One of the problems with love is that it’s blind. Break-ups are blind, too. Don’t cling to the idea of your ex because you’re imagining your life with them was perfect. It most definitely wasn’t.

9. He Has No Idea How You Feel

If you’re clinging to the idea of your ex, then I’m going to say it’s safe to assume that your ex has no idea how you fee. Why would you cling to someone who doesn’t even know you miss them? It makes no sense. Your ex isn’t a mind reader. Don’t cling to them based on the thought that he “knows” how you feel…chances are, he really doesn’t.

10. Stop Clinging to the Memory and Just Call Him

If your ex has no idea how you feel, and you’re still clinging to him and can’t seem to stop, then you have one of two choices. You can either get over him fast, or you can call him. JUST clinging to your ex is doing you no good and a lot of harm. However, calling your ex could bring you back together. It’s worth a try, right? If you’re missing someone, and you want to make it work, why not just be open and honest with that person so you at least know how they feel?

About Author

This page was created to encourage men and women to love more consciously; with courage, with hope, with your head as well as your heart. It’s love advice that doesn’t sugarcoat; it’s brutal, it’s honest, it’s raw. In a fast changing society, the need to know who you are and what you want are even more crucial to finding and keeping love.


  1. elexis2007@gmail.com'

    OMG I’M LITERALLY AT THE CASINO CRYING MY EYES OUT OVER MY EX…and this pops up on my phone. I am devastated my our breakup. I needed this wakeup call and he wasn’t great at all but I love him deeply. I’m gonna get up and dry my eyes cause I look fabulous tonight

  2. exback+lovedelusions@megabrutal.com'

    As for the 10th point, I think one should only call an ex after a sufficiently long period (the so-called „No Contact period”), because as far as I know, calling an ex earlier may make you seem clingy. There is a great chance that you’ll come off as if you’re begging them.

  3. anette_bangsfelt@hotmail.com'

    I agree on you on all these points. However, theres the relatively easy break-ups and then there are the really HARD break-ups.
    Those break-ups with traumas, sexual abuse. Sorry, but you don’t “just get over him” that fast.
    For me it took 6-8 months AFTER the break-up before I was able to actually being strong enough to realize that my ex had been lying, cheating and physically/sexually abusive throughout the relationship – and that I had put up blinds becuase I did not want to see it.
    At that time I was living with a relative and had 12 hour days at the job so I was kneedeep into my sorrow and excrutiating pain. That break-up changed me forever.
    It has taken me 2,5 years to finally being able to feel I’ve moved on, and I really do not wish for others to experince this behavior in a man.

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