Is she interested or not? That is the question. Men have being forever trying to decode the complexity of the female species, to figure out when or if they should advance to the next stage.
Guys, it’s not easy, but there ARE signs, although subtle that you should be away of.
For women, it’s very easy for us to tell whether another woman is interested in a guy simply by the way she behaves around him. Men however, seems to be somewhat clueless in this regard.
I usually shake my head when I see a guy follow a woman around; going shopping with her, having lunch with her and going to the movies together. They are left scratching their head wondering why they still have not advanced to the “next stage” of the relationship.
Alright, so let’s set the record straight.
How Women Categorizes Men
Upon first meeting a man, a woman will place him into one of 3 categories.
- Boyfriend material
- Friend material
- Sex or casual relationship only
This is done in about 3 seconds based on how attracted to him she is or what kind of “feelings” he provokes in her.
This categorization can change overtime, but usually the more time a woman spends with a guy, the more information she has to place him in the correct categorization. Once he’s in one category, it’s much more difficult for her to move him into another category.
A woman can be friends with a guy and still sleep with him, therefore maintaining a casual relationship, but if this was the case, the chemistry must be there first (she must place you in category 3 BEFORE she places you in 2). If you become friends first, it’s much harder and takes longer to move you to category 3.
For a man to be seen as boyfriend material, he must tick the majority of the checklist in her head. Usually this person can also easily be placed in category 2 or 3.
Okay, now that’s out of the way, you can see how this can get confusing to decode from a guy’s perspective. Basically, a woman is barely going to act different around whether you’re a 1, 2 or 3.
I said “barely” because there will be subtle but definite differences.
Individual signs on their own are not enough to give you a good indication of interest. If you want to be absolutely sure, you need as many of these as possible within a short window of time.
Here’s what I would look for:
- She wants to hang out with you even though she has other “women friends” to hang out with.
- She initiates physical contact regularly. Placing her arm on your shoulder, touching your arm, back etc.
- She flirts with you.
- She laughs at your jokes or what you say, even when you don’t think they’re that funny.
- She laughs and smiles a lot around you in general.
- She doesn’t bring up depressing stories about herself or vent and complain about her problems with you. (If she does do this it’s a sure sign that you’re a friend only! A woman wouldn’t normally bring out her worst features around a man she wants to date!)
- If she has done all of the above and you don’t make a move on her after 3 dates, then she’s going to think YOU’RE not interested and give up on you.
The speed at which you make a move after the right signals have been displayed is VERY important. The keyed in guys do not passively wait for the right signals, they actively seek to create them.
Once you get 3 positive indication of interest, you must make a move right then and there or else she will assume you’re not interested and place you in category 2.
Once you’re in there, it’s harder to come back out.
For example, have you ever had a conversation with a friend where she confessed to having a crush on you years ago? And you only found out now because she only thinks of you as a friend? Yep, that’s because you missed the signals at the right time and defaulted to the friend category overtime.
The toughest part is making that move because essentially it will feel like a risk no matter how many signals she gives you. My advice – just do it. If she rejects you, at least you know how she feels. If she doesn’t, then it can only get better from here.
If you’re in the friendzone with your EX, you’re really in a new 4th category.
You must be careful when you’re in this category because this 4th category is only a transitional category that is not destined to last. Or in other words, you’ll be kept here until your ex gets over you and finds someone else to replace you.
Being friends with an ex is really risky if you don’t keep an eye on it because often women WILL use you emotionally to transition easier out of a relationship.
If you’re not sure which category you’re in, check the signs. The more signs she shows that she is into you, the more likely she is open to date you.
The more signs she shows that she is using you for emotional comfort, the more likely that she is.
Once you know which category you’re in, you need to either be making bolder moves to transition the relationship along or you need to step away for a time.
Getting out of the friendzone is also about taking risks. It’s about asking her out and making moves on her that you otherwise wouldn’t. Doing this will at least put the idea in her mind that you’re interested and allow her to think about the possibility of being with you. If she isn’t even considering it, she will happily keep you as a friend.
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